The Pool Nazi

Friday was yet another crazy day. I hope this doesn’t keep up. It was my swim day and I find swimming the hardest workout to get in because it is the only one I have to go to a gym to complete. The others I can do at home. However, I had to go to Pittsburgh for the day for some surveys. I also had to pick up my Clif Bars at Whole Foods because they had a fabulous sale on them – buy one box for $10 get one free. Sadly, I also had to attend the wake of my next door neighbor, a 52 year old man who had been battling cancer for the last year.

I left my house around 6am and did not have one second to waste. I managed to drive to Pittsburgh, complete 3 surveys, stop off for the Clif Bars, and attend a wake. By this time it was 7pm and I still needed to get my swim workout done. Bally’s closes at 9pm on Friday nights so I had to get over there before then. Immediately following the wake, I dragged my poor children to the gym with me because Lou had a meeting with a potential client (can’t cancel on a potential client). I’m sure sitting in the lobby of Bally’s was exactly what they wanted to be doing on a Friday night (NOT). My planned workout was for 1,200 yards.

I went to the locker room, changed into my swimsuit and quickly rinsed off before going to the pool area. Now this is where it gets interesting. I walk into the pool room and it was downright crowded. Every lane was filled with 3-4 seniors, some had even more. And yet amazingly, none of them were swimming. OK. But none of them were doing any form of exercise either (water aerobics, running in the water, etc.). Every single one of them were doing nothing except standing around talking to one another. It was like a senior night club only in a pool. I asked the lady standing in the pool with only two people in it if I could share the lane. She glared at me and asked in a thick German accent “Did you zhower before you came in here?” I said yes. She then said “You are not clean enough to get in the pool. Is zis your first time here? You must be clean to enter!” My jaw was on the floor. Did I stink? I didn’t think so. I looked around and saw people going from the steam room getting all sweaty and then getting into the pool and/or hot tub. I could not believe she had no problem with that. I had no other choice but to go back into the locker room for a full shower before I came back. Whatever.

After I got into the pool, a guy in the lane next to me said “You look fast. Are you fast?” I told him it was an optical illusion, that I was slow. I started my warm up and after two laps he asked “Do you want to race?” As polite as possible I said “No thanks, I just want to get my work out done.” He said OK. Except as soon as I started each lap, he would swim a lap too. At the end he said “You beat me.” or “I won.” or “You are fast.” or some other remark. I found this to be very strange and annoying. Is it just me? I don’t think so. I don’t mind saying hello of being friendly but I thought this was a bit overboard.

By the way, I now have a working theory as to why there were men’s swim trunks on the bottom of the pool.